The Neurotic Wanderer

I think that this meant something slightly different than it did maybe say....six months ago? Now when I plan my hike, I do so to minimize my likely hood of running into other people and bringing my mask, in addition to all the other safety things I usually bring with me.  And while I know that the likelihood of becoming infected with COVID 19 while recreating in the outdoors is probably pretty low, I would rather be safe than sorry, hence the mask and appropriate social distancing. I try and pick trail in which there are little to no people, pick a time a day in which there are little to no people, or where I can easily move far enough off trail to minimize contact. For the times that I cannot do those things I bring my mask so I can quickly cover my mouth and nose. I am lucky enough to have several cloth masks that I rotate between, I don't feel bad about using mask only for this purpose before washing and disinfecting.  So in addition to thos...

I never thought that I would be an only child. And it still feels like a weird thing to say, as if I am erasing my brother. But the reality is that I am the only living child my mother has left. And that is a monumental responsibility. One that has weighed on me, both in my hiking endeavors as well as my profession. My mom doesn't put that pressure on me, I think it is something that I put on myself, but the thought is always there. I was never particularly a fearless person, but I have noticed more and more recently and I am just more fearful when I am outdoors. The most recent example is my attempt to winter hike the Grand Canyon last week.  I greatly under estimated the ice and for sure wasn't prepared enough but I had a near melt down at the thought of slipping on ice and falling to my doom. I for sure don't fear death, as it is but the next great adventure. But before, I knew that my brother was here and that he would take care of everyone in by absence. I realize ho...

Hanging Gardens (No Official Trail) I really tend to be a creature of habit. I often struggle to go outside of my comfort zone (part of that is fear which I will touch on in a later post). However, I know that variety is the spice to life so to speak and I'm grateful to have friends who challenge me to try new things. With that being said, I have create a list of trails that I would like to try this year, in addition to the trails I have found to be tried and true. New To Me Trails: Camelback Mountain (which I was lucky enough to complete with the family already) Wave Cave Trail- Superstition Mountains Hieroglyphic Trail- Superstition Wilderness Seven Falls Trail- Sabino Canyon Recreation Area Lava River Cave- Coconino National Forest Kendrick Mountain Southside Trail- Kendrick Mountain Wilderness Picacho Peak- Picacho Peak State Park Passage 1 of AZ Trail: Huachuca Mountains A lot of the trails mentioned I actually took from the 52 Hike Challenge Guide, so sho...

This past year, 2018, has been difficult to say the least. I am not the rigidly disciplined person I once was and while that may actually work to my favor, it just feels like complete loss of control and instability. It makes me feel even more insecure and stressed out. What this year lacked: Financial stability      This was of my own doing. I am usually a really great financial planner, but I seemed to have just reverted back into the poor habits of my teens. Medical Stability      I did not have health insurance this year and have also developed new ailments. Mental Stability      Aside from just the all consuming grief, I would appear that I just can't kick my anger. I have always been an angry person, but I feel as though I can't struggle to be around people without opening my mouth to engage in conflict. Physical Stability      I am most definitely not in the best shape of my life. While I have learned to accept...

A few weeks back I had the opportunity to hike to Vultee Arch in the Red Rock Secret Mountain Wilderness and it was one of the more magical hikes of that week. It's a trail that doesn't see too  many people since it's either a bit difficult to drive to or it can be a bit strenuous with significant elevation change, depending the side you come in from. My work rig is a 4x4 Rubicon, so I was able to pop in through the rough dirt road. The hike itself was short but well worth it. The colors this time of year have really been showing off and the morning was crisp and cool. I honestly couldn't have asked for a better day. Of course there was the customary baby diaper and oddly an old deflated balloon that got caught in the trees as well as some minor graffiti, but all in all, not too bad. I felt incredibly grateful. As I was hiking, I couldn't help but think of what a weird concept hiking actually is. We are all just wandering around out there with food and water, and ...

So September marked my 30th year on this Earth. I really didn't want to celebrate my birthday this year since all celebrations seem meaningless still, but I was pretty glad to be officially in my 30's.  I feel like age has finally started to make me a little bit more confident in myself and I'm grateful to have the luxury to do so. I know that turning 30 can be a big deal and most people make a big deal out of it, but I just didn't want to do that. I wanted to just exist and be grateful and reflect on life up to this point. So, despite protests from friends and family, I packed my backpack and hiked the Grand Canyon. I know that for a lot of people visiting the Grand Canyon, means walking along the rim trail, listening to a Ranger talk or shopping all of the neat stuff in the visitor center (and there is nothing wrong with that because we all have our own path), but for me the Grand Canyon is a spiritual experience. Whether you chose to believe in a diety or not, the Gr...

There is so  much information out there about this place, and a lot of it is outdated or incorrect. So I'm hoping to share some information on here for those who may be interested in visiting this wonderful and beautiful place. A Little Backstory Fossil Creek is one of only two bodies of water with a Wild and Scenic River designation. The designation came in 2009 and has undergone tremendous efforts in restoration. This was largely in part thanks to public outcry at closing the APS dam and restoring the creek to its former glory. This was a big deal in and of itself since this was first in a series of dam retirements to happen across the country. While the Childs power plant is significant to Arizona history, it not longer had any use in present day energy needs and was found to be detrimental to this delicate riparian habitat. And with that, the dam was taken down and Fossil Creek restored. There are still historic placards in place to remember and pay tribute to the important...

I've done three solo hikes since I've last written about hiking. My funk had not really cleared but I was starting to feel some physical effects of not being outside and active. Unofficially, I believe that I have a severe vitamin D deficiency, which manifests itself pretty severely if I don't go outside or take supplements. So for my first hike, I forwent the sunscreen for about 15 minutes and didn't wear a hat. I went alone, in part because I went during the day when most of my friends are working, but also to be able to just sit there and feel my feelings. There was hardly anyone on the trail and the sun was shinning and for the first time in a little while I didn't completely hate everything. I took a resistance band and did some arm exercises in an effort to tire myself out as much as possible. I was only out for about an hour and a half, but it was enough to remind me that outdoor is where I belong. I love being a couch potato and playing video games until my ...

Setting challenges and creating benchmarks, utilizing metrics is just a part of who I am, that “Type A” personality. Being able to analyze metrics is something that legitimately brings me joy. But I have found a balance between utilizing metrics and setting unrealistic expectations. With that being said, I have set up what I believe to be some realistic expectations for this year. Blogging My brother tried to use his blog as both a method to cope with his anxiety and depression, and he was able to make some really great connections that way. People he would have otherwise been able to meet. I would like to try and carry on that legacy my bringing awareness to mental health issues and document my own healing through outdoor activity. Live a More Cruelty Free Lifestyle While I’m not ready to go entirely vegetarian, I would like to go meatless at least three days a week. I am still working on being able to give up cheese and sour cream. But I think that this is a good star...

So I realize that we are half way through January, but I still wanted to get out my 2017 wrap up. This past year was the worst and most discouraging year I have ever experienced. My lost someone who I never thought I would be without and my career never really went anywhere. I started the year thinking that I knew that would happen and that things would just all fall into place; time kept moving forward but my plans did not. There were quite a few take aways from last year though and I think there was a fair share of growth. Books I met my book goal. My goal was to read 20 books and I completed that. I feel pretty good about the variety of books I read and part of that was thanks to the public library, I’m a sucker for all of those librarian recommendations. Here is the list of books that I read: A Case of Need- Michael Crichton The Martian-Any Weir Kite Runner-Khaled Housseini Fight Club-Chuck Palahniuk The Martian Chronicles-Ray Bradbury The Strain-G...