Challenging the Fear
I never thought that I would be an only child. And it still feels like a weird thing to say, as if I am erasing my brother. But the reality is that I am the only living child my mother has left. And that is a monumental responsibility. One that has weighed on me, both in my hiking endeavors as well as my profession. My mom doesn't put that pressure on me, I think it is something that I put on myself, but the thought is always there. I was never particularly a fearless person, but I have noticed more and more recently and I am just more fearful when I am outdoors. The most recent example is my attempt to winter hike the Grand Canyon last week. I greatly under estimated the ice and for sure wasn't prepared enough but I had a near melt down at the thought of slipping on ice and falling to my doom. I for sure don't fear death, as it is but the next great adventure. But before, I knew that my brother was here and that he would take care of everyone in by absence. I realize ho