Update
Angry. Heartbroken. Lost. I am not really even sure who I am anymore. How do I go back to "normal" when so much has been lost? Do I even want the same things I wanted before? I feel as though I am just going through the motions so that my family and friends don't worry as much. I feel as though my calling has changed, but I am unsure how to answer it. Do I even have the strength to redefine myself? I know what Manuel would say, but I am for sure not the same person I was before. What I do know, is that I still don't like being around people for extended periods of time. I have very little patience for people in general. I feel marginally better when I am out doors, when I can force myself to actually leave the house. I enjoy sitting still. I like being around animals. But where does that leave me? I would just like to shut myself in. But people, society, expect something different. I am not lazy, I am just unmotivated. What is the meaning of anything anymore. MC