The Holiday Season

I had always been very lucky in that I had my family and friends, a steady job, and a pretty solid handle on who I was, and where I was going.  I knew that people struggled during the holidays, both financially and emotionally, but it was not something that I could totally empathize with. This year, that has all changed. We didn’t put up any decorations and there was no tree. When asked about what I was doing during this time, I answered with vague non-committal responses. Being the people pleaser that I am, I didn’t want to tell people the truth and have to explain why. I worried that I would in turn bring them down with me. So I plastered on my “mask”, what I now refer to as my make-up and held that saccharine smile. For the first time, I could really understand those who don’t like this time of year.

We did bake some cookies and make some tamales, and tried to remember the fun times when we were all together. That for sure helped. Having some semblance of normalcy is a sort of comfort. But it was also liberating in a sense to no longer feel the need to participate in the season. It was all so easy to let go.

Having experienced a great personal loss and feeling like I force my way through life as well as being as open as I’m capable of right now, has really opened my eyes to the pain that others have experienced or are presently experiencing. Whether it is working through the challenge of knowing someone close to them who is mentally ill, or who is suffering from mental health issues themselves, there are quite a few people in my immediate circle of people who have shared with me their own struggles.  They have also elaborated on why this time of year is both joyous and a challenge, often times linking things back to familial mental health issues. Knowing that here are so many people who don’t fully embrace the season and why has been comforting but also allowed me to really connect with others who are currently experiencing difficulty and offer words of comfort. Which is really all any of us can ask for, knowing someone is listening and cares.

It is ok to be overly excited about the holidays. It is ok to hate the holidays. It is ok to be sad during the holidays. It is ok for things to not be perfect during the holidays.  It is ok for you to not be perfect during the holidays.

Remember there is always someone to talk to and listen; someone who cares. Don’t feel ashamed about whatever/however you are feeling. You matter, your feelings matter and you are valid.

And with that, I sign off-

MC

Comments

  1. SarahJanuary 2, 2018 at 11:30 AM

    Sometimes the holidays are a time to celebrate and sometimes they are a time to just be. I'm glad you gave yourself permission to do what you needed to do this year.

    ReplyDelete

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